Slinky Jack
by Emx
Summary: Jack finds a slinky spring. One-shot. It was funny when I thought of it and still kinda funny when I wrote it. Please read and review!


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I was fiddling with my sister's slinky when I thought of this so I thought I'd give it a shot.

Jack and the Slinky

Far, far away on an island in the lovely and sunny Caribbean, well it's very far from where I live (and much sunnier), anyways, Jack was taking a walk and happened to happen upon a slinky spring. Actually the slinky spring happened upon Jack, or rather fell upon Jack's head from out of the sky – a disoriented stork was carrying it you see.

Jack noticed the slinky spring, as one would if it fell upon one's head and picked it up. He stretched and brought it together again and stretched it and brought it together again like an accordion. He then gave a quick look around to see if Jack the Monkey had appeared to dance a jig.

"This int an accordion." Jack concluded disappointedly when Jack the Monkey had not appeared to dance a jig, and indeed it wasn't for it was a slinky spring.

Now Jack happened to not be alone in his happenings and was accompanied by a blacksmith who went by the name of Will. Will knew everything there was to know about swords and seeing as the slinky spring happened to not be a sword he knew very little about it.

"I know very little about that." He felt he needed to say, despite the narrator already making it clear.

Jack walked a little further using the slinky spring like an accordion in hope that Jack the Monkey would happen to think it was an accordion and appear to dance a jig. He did not. However Jack did happen upon some randomly (and conveniently, may I add) placed steps in the middle of the beach.

"Tha's a ver' random place to put some stairs. Quite careless really, someone could trip over them." Jack pointed out to Will. Will nodded in agreement.

"We should move them out of the way." Will said responsibly.

"Indeed." Agreed Jack and he placed down the slinky spring upon the top-most step which happened to be at the top.

Meanwhile, a soldier in the middle of changing shifts at Fort Charles happened to need to walk down the stairs to get to the room he happened to need to get to. He was just about to take the first step down when they disappeared from beneath his feet.

"This is awkward." The soldier said to himself, "How am I supposed to get down?" He stood there for a while waiting for the stairs to re-appear because he was certain they would eventually.

As Jack and Will lifted the steps to move them so no-one would get hurt the slinky spring happened to tip forward.

"Quick! Catch it!" Shouted Jack in alarm as he watched it climb down the steps.

"Why?" asked Will.

"It might explode." Said Jack as he cowered behind the steps that he was supposed to be holding.

The slinky did not explode, as slinkies rarely do. Instead it happened to just end up in a heap on the sand.

"Jack you can come out from behind those...stairs" Will finished as he happened to noticed that they had vanished into middle-air.

Not that Will happened to know this, but the stairs did re-appear at the fort. However they happened to re-appear at the other end of the ramparts.

"Oi, you!" The soldier shouted to them, "You're supposed to be over here."

"Sorry!" The steps happened to reply, though how the soldier couldn't quite figure out. He still hasn't to this day. They vanished for a second and re-appeared at their original space.

"Just don't do it again." The soldier warned, still unsure about how they happened to speak. He went off to the room he needed to go to and thought no more on the matter.

But I digress. This is supposed to be a story about a legendary pirate captain and a slinky spring, not a story about steps that talk and a clueless soldier. The legendary pirate captain had got over his embarrassment about hiding from an extraordinarily stretching spring that did not explode and was once again trying to play it like an accordion again in hope that Jack the Monkey would appear to dance a jig. He did not.

Jack finally decided to ask the question that he should have asked straight away.

"What is it?"

"I do not know." Will answered, for it was true.

Jack had decided trying to play the unknown object that had happened upon him would not work, so he got bored and threw it behind him. He happened to have very bad, or was it good, aim and happened to hit his blacksmith friend upon the head.

"Ouch" Will said.

"Sorry mate." Jack apologised.

The slinky spring was left on the sand, while Jack and the newly bruised Will walked away. Then from out of the blue sky, swooped a blue parrot and swept the slinky spring right away. Jack had happened to turn around at this precise moment and saw all that happened.

"Oi! You! Parrot! Gimme back me... me... give it back!" Jack shouted.

"I thought you didn't want it any more." The parrot replied.

"Well I changed me mind." Jack answered obviously unperturbed that the parrot had spoke. Will was slightly more concerned.

"Awright, awright you can have it back, but I want something shiny in return."

"I thought that was Jackdaws." Will said.

"Hey, how'd you know I'm not a Jackdaw?!"

"You look like a parrot to me." Will said suspiciously.

"And what would you know about parrots? Looks can be deceiving you know."

"'E 'as yer there, mate." Jack decided to intervene, "'Ere ya go, one silver coin."

"You're not going to give him money, are you Jack??!"

"Why not? It's not as if I'm gonna run short anytime soon. Besides, I want my unknown object back."

Will started to sulk. Jack ignored him and paid the parrot... sorry, jackdaw. He got his slinky spring back and all was well. Except for Will. He was still sulking of course.

"Don't worry, Will. I'm sure your own unknown will 'appen upon you, one o' these days, mate."

And for all they know, it may.

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Whaddya think? Please review!


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